coffee and tea-

i used to cringe at the thought
of coffee at three in the morning.
i also used to fall into my bed
at around eight in the evening. 
of course i didn’t always drink
whiskey at dawn, either, 
but i realize now that i am not 
the same girl i was back then.
i will not be the three am coffee
drinker someday,
and perhaps when that day 
arrives i would have also given
up the whiskey. 
by then maybe i will only sip 
on gen maicha tea and gin.
perhaps by then i will be happy
and married to the one i love.
the girl i once was was bold 
and excited to take on new 
the girl i am now seeks fulfillment,
often in all of the wrong places.
when i am looking back on the
blur that has been whiskey nights
and weekend lovers,
perhaps i will feel satisfied in
my calmer ways. 
i wont chug beer or run naked
in the snow,
i will write my poetry slowly
and sometimes even edit.
filling my cup with gin and tonic,
smiling at the face that sits
across from me,
happy for all of the people we
have been in the past. 
growing up always happens 
when you least expect it-
when you give up three am coffee
and trade it all in for tea.


you might be a tumblr 9 but you a real life 4.5 


the eighth deadly sin-

i refuse to lust after you
any longer, i am more
than a pawn in your 
games of passion.
i will not be the sweet to
your tongue, satisfying
your gluttonous ways.
you no longer have me
over everything else,
for now i can see the greed
that was burning behind
those pale eyes.
this is where it stops,
before the sin takes hold-
i know what i must do,
and that means moving 
i will no longer sit back
and watch the world 
crumble at my toes.
though i never really loved
you, i promise you are
not worth my wrath,
i will leave you solemnly 
and find my own way
on my own terms.
i used to think i envied you,
your way of wooing those
around you,
you captured a light and
used it to deceive. 
it is your pride that has
made me run,
you are no god in the
heavens, you are a man
tied to earth and nothing more.
you are the worst of the
seven deadly sins,
because you are each of 
them combined.

*yep, still loving you. Still not feeling the love back.


…and you drink a little too much and try a little too hard. And you go home to a cold bed and think, ‘That was fine’. And your life is a long line of fine.
― Flynn, Gillian. Gone Girl.   (via fckn12yearold)

(Source: wordsnquotes)


"Strawberry Gashes" by Jack Off Jill

I lay quiet
waiting for her voice to say
“Some things you lose and some things you just give away”

omg i used to be obsessed with this song

letters to you

I will write about the following, leave one in my ask box.

Dear person I hate,

Dear person I like,

Dear ex boyfriend,

Dear ex girlfriend,

Dear ex bestfriend,

Dear bestfriend,

Dear *anyone*,

Dear Santa,

Dear mom,

Dear dad,

Dear future me,

Dear past me,

Dear person I’m jealous of,

Dear person I had a crush on,

Dear girlfriend,

Dear boyfriend,

Dear [insert URL here]

(Source: wishtoconfess)

crying on the phone at two in the morning-

you were two am phone calls
over tears and underage liquor.
you were false promises and 
a hope for getting healthy.
you were a dream so perfect 
my friends didn’t even believe
you were real.
you were broken summers and
lonely falls, heartbroken winters
and wish washy springs.
you were everything i could have
ever wanted, but nothing that
i could ever grasp on to.
you were a dream, but you were
also a nightmare.
you were a vision of perfection
in all of your imperfection,
you were so different from 
all that i had ever seen and 
you knew just what words to say
to make my heart melt, but you
also used them to break my 
heart into pieces.
you were a liar, though you had
never promised love,
as soon as you got away from me
you found yourself in the arms of
someone else.
you were two am phone calls 
and a number hard to forget,
you were the first heartbreak that
i had never seen coming.

(Source: mrcheyl)