you’re tangled in my heartstrings,
a mess i don’t want to clean up,
you are putting me back together
just by spinning me in circles.
you are perfectly imperfect and 
i don’t want you any other way-
just a little bit messy and with a
you are all i could ever ask for.

with me-

they say sometimes you meet
a person who you know is 
supposed to be in your life.
and when you find that person,
it becomes your job to keep them
around, through thick and thin.
sometimes you don’t realize it 
until years down the road,
but sometimes you just know 
sort of like falling in love at 
first sight, you are so taken aback
by this person’s unique light,
something deep inside starts to
scream at you-
"hey, this person is not like 
just anyone you meet on the street,
this one you need in your life!”
it’s up to you whether or not 
you choose to listen.
and baby, my heart has been 
listening since day one.
i’m keepin’ you around, 
even if you think i’m a little weird.
my heart doesn’t scream out
for any ol’ person,
and i guess we both picked you.
like it or not,
you’re a little bit stuck.

rowdy oh-

honestly, i can’t believe 
how all of this has happened.
i didn’t think i was ready-
i’ve only pushed people away
since i have returned home,
but with you,
i know that this is right.
nothing is forced,
every passing day it seems
that we are growing more 
and more into each other.
it’s easy for me to wear my 
heart on my sleeve, i know,
but right now i want to.
i want to give you my all 
without holding any part of me
you’re simultaneously the 
biggest breath of fresh air
i have felt in years
as well as a fast moving train
headed straight for my heart.
i don’t really think anything
else has felt more right.
this right here is what i’ve
been searching for.
truly, i’m terrified,
i don’t want to repeat history,
i don’t want to be crushed.
you give me that glimmer
of hope that maybe 
when you know, you know,
and you just gotta roll with 
whatever happens next.
i could kiss you endlessly,
and i don’t say that lightly-
falling into you arms at night
and waking up to your
sleepy, tired eyes is my ecstasy.
you are it.
this is it.
and hell yes i’m scared, 
but by all means i am ready.

But I don’t want comfort. I want God, I want poetry, I want real danger, I want freedom, I want goodness. I want sin.
― Aldous Huxley, Brave New World (via exahele)
coffee and tea-

i used to cringe at the thought
of coffee at three in the morning.
i also used to fall into my bed
at around eight in the evening. 
of course i didn’t always drink
whiskey at dawn, either, 
but i realize now that i am not 
the same girl i was back then.
i will not be the three am coffee
drinker someday,
and perhaps when that day 
arrives i would have also given
up the whiskey. 
by then maybe i will only sip 
on gen maicha tea and gin.
perhaps by then i will be happy
and married to the one i love.
the girl i once was was bold 
and excited to take on new 
the girl i am now seeks fulfillment,
often in all of the wrong places.
when i am looking back on the
blur that has been whiskey nights
and weekend lovers,
perhaps i will feel satisfied in
my calmer ways. 
i wont chug beer or run naked
in the snow,
i will write my poetry slowly
and sometimes even edit.
filling my cup with gin and tonic,
smiling at the face that sits
across from me,
happy for all of the people we
have been in the past. 
growing up always happens 
when you least expect it-
when you give up three am coffee
and trade it all in for tea.


you might be a tumblr 9 but you a real life 4.5 


the eighth deadly sin-

i refuse to lust after you
any longer, i am more
than a pawn in your 
games of passion.
i will not be the sweet to
your tongue, satisfying
your gluttonous ways.
you no longer have me
over everything else,
for now i can see the greed
that was burning behind
those pale eyes.
this is where it stops,
before the sin takes hold-
i know what i must do,
and that means moving 
i will no longer sit back
and watch the world 
crumble at my toes.
though i never really loved
you, i promise you are
not worth my wrath,
i will leave you solemnly 
and find my own way
on my own terms.
i used to think i envied you,
your way of wooing those
around you,
you captured a light and
used it to deceive. 
it is your pride that has
made me run,
you are no god in the
heavens, you are a man
tied to earth and nothing more.
you are the worst of the
seven deadly sins,
because you are each of 
them combined.

*yep, still loving you. Still not feeling the love back.


…and you drink a little too much and try a little too hard. And you go home to a cold bed and think, ‘That was fine’. And your life is a long line of fine.
― Flynn, Gillian. Gone Girl.   (via fckn12yearold)

(Source: wordsnquotes)


"Strawberry Gashes" by Jack Off Jill

I lay quiet
waiting for her voice to say
“Some things you lose and some things you just give away”

omg i used to be obsessed with this song